A Monster's Thoughts

Tear my heart out and rip it to shreds;
darken my soul and leave me dead.

Stab me in the back and watch it bleed.
Yeah, let the hate grow just like a seed.

Lies, pain, anger and deception,
these gifts from you lead my destruction.

Scars left cold from your black nails
remind me only of your betrayal.

Then I take a razor and cut again;
let my blood flood these thoughts within.

When I open my eyes, NO I don't cry
I only wish for you to DIE!!!

Should I forgive you? F*ck NO!
I just want you to leave me alone,

yet I still can't get you to go.
Stained inside with memories cold as snow.

God, look at the monster that I've become,
this deep hatred has left my morals numb.

So cut me open; black my eyes,
see if I care if I live or die.

See you in hell bitch, better be there!
Do you honestly think I care?

Eternal torture becomes pure bliss
if your with me suffering all of this.

I've become a monster created by you,
I hope my thoughts BURN YOU TOO!!!

In Front of a Mirror

I drift into darkness
falling,
fading,
suffocating,
drowning in a pool of darkness.
Trapped in a room of sorrow;
lost inside the blackness of sin.
I feel invisible walls crush me,
what can I do when I'm lost within?
I can only pray for a drop of light
or a small pitch of sound.
I reach my hand towards an unknown abyss
even though I cannot see
the tears flowing in front of me.
I have no comfort of my lovers kiss
and after what feels like an eternity
of reliving bad memories
I open my eyes.....
I see myself back in front of a mirror
looking at who I am
realizing I'm in that dark hole of sin
which is why no one gives a damn.
Now I know why I can't breath,
why it's so dark and I'm alone.
Now I know why I feel tears
and no sound of anyone at home.
I don't remember what its like to have a kiss
but how could anybody ever love this?!
Ive lost my way
with nothing to say
except I'm sorry.
Maybe it's too late to make things better;
nothing for sorry or apologetic letters.
So I stand in front of a mirror
looking at the monster in the frame
and I become full of fear
because I know what it's named,
that damned soul I see
is only me.....

Lies that Make Me Bleed

Don't you see the hate in my eyes?
They're all corrupt to the core.
Many of the tears that I cry
are from anger and nothing more.

I'm so sick of all your lies;
I'm trapped in this dark pit.
Now I just want you to die
you fucking piece of shit!

Do you find it funny
that whenever I scream or yell
no one hears my pleadings
to help me from this hell?

Do you find some beauty
in watching my heart bleed?
I cut my arm from memories
of your insatiable greed.

Though I feel emotional pain
my blade creates physical too;
it cuts my skin and pierces veins
yet its better than thinking of you.

As I watch myself bleed and bleed
I can only temporarily forget
these damn memories haunting my dreams
as it finally abolishes ignorance.

I used to think I did something wrong,
that I didn't do what I should have done
but really the truth was all along
the deep hatred was the feeling that won.

It took a while but now I see
this love was never true.
You destroyed my very being
and all I have to say is F*CK YOU!